Dating Nigerian Yoruba mies

it is essential to find out about Nigerian men and how they handle relationships especially their behaviours and cultural background just to know how it could affect or influence your future love life. Most of the things you need to know about dating Nigerian men are covered here. When i was dating a yoruba lady, immediately i arrived their house the parents says' OKO RE TI DE O ZZZZZZZZ' and when i am in they at times ask her to take me to her room or at times they ask her if she wont follow me home over the weeknd. this family mind you is very rich. a former COMM OF POLICE IN OLD LAGOS. FREE 30-Day Trial of Nurse Triage Software. Learn More. Youtube For Yoruba men who have accepted their destiny as demons, here are tips on how to be good at what you do: The Complete Guide To Being A Yoruba Demon. For the ladies who have decided to decamp to the Igbo men, well, here’s something for you too: 7 Nigerian Women Talk About Dating An Igbo Man Traditional Marriage Ceremony Customs and Culture in Yorubaland Marriage is seen as an important culture among the Yoruba people. A woman who is single at a marriageable age is seen as a crownless woman. Husbands are seen as crowns and a single lady is seen as incomplete without her crown. Another reason why marriage is … Continue reading 'Traditional Marriage System In Yoruba Culture, Nigeria' Free Yoruba Matrimony Yoruba Dating Website Ürün Kategorileri. Behind whatsapp yoruba leaders and writing as on nigerian men can find love on our vast history. Add to merge this enjoyable and connecting them o- its. Are they are some yoruba movies, oceania and single nationalists for the yoruba influence his article 14 hours with a rich. If you’re looking for more reasons to date a Yoruba guy, come along with me. 1) Family Values You’d hardly meet a Yoruba guy that doesn’t have high standards when it comes to family. One thing you’re assured of when you date a Yoruba guy (and if you’re lucky enough to marry one) is that you would come first always in his life. Most Yoruba men are of the opinion that sleeping with a skinny woman is like sleeping with a man, but sleeping with a woman that has some ample flesh will give them something soft to hold on to. 3. Understanding Women An intolerant woman will sure have a hard time finding a man to settle down with. Mingle2 allows you to meet single individuals from Lagos State In Nigeria. The website was founded in 2006 and offers 100% free online dating services to Lagosians and those interested in meeting Lagosians. Friendite. Friendite was founded in 2012 and is a free dating sites targeted at Nigerians who are looking for opportunity to meet love online. The dating experience that I have had with meeting and dating a Nigerian lady from Lagos has been a wonderful experience. I will start by saying that I am an African American male and well-educated. The lady I met and intend on marrying very soon is absolutely beautiful in appearance and has a beautiful heart and great integrity.

I actually agree with Angela...hear me out

2020.08.29 21:48 9021Ohsnap I actually agree with Angela...hear me out

Angela ain’t the greatest person in the world but she does have a point here.
So let me preface this by saying I was immersed in Nigerian culture for a good three years when I was dating my ex. Went to church, cleaned his family’s house, learned some of the language, cooked with his mom and learned how to cook traditional dishes, cooked my traditional dishes for his whole family, went to engagement ceremonies, weddings, car blessings you name it! He is from the same Yoruba culture as Myckal (however you spell it) and his family.
Now I get that Myckal’s culture is heavily patriarchal, but I don’t think that’s Angela’s issue. Her issue seems to be about Myckal’s flip floppy nature in the way he handles all situations. During their private conversations Myckal tells Angela that he agrees that they are a team. But in order to save face with his family/friends and not create tension he tells them she will be submissive and fully acclimate to Nigerian culture. Angela is not wrong in this situation because even since the beginning she’s been VERY vocal about her expectations for the relationship. She’s done her due diligence and to my surprise acclimated as well as any other independent American woman can, to Nigerian culture (Yoruba Specifically, as there are other ethnic groups with different customs in Nigeria). She gave it her best shot, ate snails which I never did, and still actively made it clear that she’s just not about that housewife life.
Now as Myckal’s future wife it would be INCREDIBLY disrespectful for her to speak out to his mom/family etc. about the fact that she doesn’t believe in being submissive, that’s Myckal’s job...but he’s not doing it because again he doesn’t want to disrespect his mom/culture and potentially be ostracized by his peers. It is incredibly looked down upon to not be in control of your wife. But to Angela’s credit, she’s laid out her expectations and Myckal, is stringing her along in hopes she’ll finally just go with it (and he’ll get a green card).
Now, my ex’s parent were considerably more liberal than the typical Nigerian parents albeit they were still VERY traditional. They were traditional in the fact that, they let their kids live life, listened to them, and supported them in all their endeavors. However, as liberal (considering) as they were I would NEVER in my right mind, voice anything that might be considered disrespectful to my ex’s mom/sister. If there was any opposition to Nigerian culture I had to ensure that they thought is was STRICTLY HIS IDEA. For example, I’m no submissive wife type, I’m not Uber religious in the slightest, I have a career, I can cook but so can your son/brother, that way he got the heat and I didn’t. He understood this too and we played his family like puppets to get what we want (nothing vindictive, just stuff like “ok we don’t wanna go to church this Sunday). I know this is a foreign concept to some Americans but in order to get IN with the family that’s how you play the game, and Myckal is losing.
TLDR: Myckal’s communication skills is what’s causing most of their issues. Angela has made it clear that she is not a submissive wife and has no intentions of being a Nigerian wife.
submitted by 9021Ohsnap to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]

2020.05.08 10:30 comeandbegoing Meeting the parents, I’m scared lol.

EDIT: I’m 22 years old
E kaaro
I’m looking for some advice here. I (Nigerian, Yoruba) have been dating my (Nigerian, Edo) boyfriend for over a year and we both want him to meet my mom. My mom is usually laid back but I’m scared to bring it up because I don’t want her to limit my “going out” when after she met him.
How can I handle this situation? And what are the do’s and dont’s when introducing your boyfriend to your mom? (I don’t know much about this part). How was your experiences when introducing your boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents?
I’ll be in the comment section. Thanks!
submitted by comeandbegoing to Nigeria [link] [comments]

2019.02.17 23:27 LarkinSkye Tribalism and Dating - A Question

I (25m) am dating a wonderful girl (23m) whom I have come to love very, very much. We met while playing an MMO. I initiated things because her username was a Nigerian name which I recognized because I myself am of Nigerian heritage. Turned out she was, too. I have no racial or cultural preferences. Things just happened this way. And quite honestly, she is the first Nigerian girl I have ever dated, but things are so much easier with her than anyone else. Some of this has to do with the fact that we understand the cultures, but most of it is to do with how emotionally and intellectually compatible we are.

We live in different states (NJ and OH), but talk regularly and visit each other every couple of months.

Within the last few months, she has begun to mention that her mom does not like the idea of her dating me because we are from two different tribes. Well, truth be told, I am mixed between two tribes: Yoruba and Igbo. She herself is Igbo. But her mother only sees my Yoruba side. And she has pressured her to forget about me and our "fling" (how she refers to our relationship of a year and a half) so that she can find a nice Igbo man. The first time she told me about this, we almost broke up because I thought these were her views, but after some prodding and asking for details, I discovered that she was under immense pressure form her parents and the only person at the time who was on her side was her aunt. And now, I am discovering that even her aunt is against our relationship, to the point of trying to set her up with some young Igbo guys in Nigeria. The craziest thing about all this to me is we both live in the US. We're basically as American as they come. It confounds me that one would bring their prejudices and tribalistic attitudes to a place where racism is already a problem. Why add to that with your own bullshit?

Anyway, I write all this to ask: what should we do? She is in school for the next 4 years and I have graduated and am working, though I still live with my parents. I love her immensely. And I really want this to work. Have any of you ever had to deal with something like this? If so, what did you do? It feels like I'm cursed. My mom had to go through this as well with my dad's family.

I'm at a loss.
submitted by LarkinSkye to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2012.04.04 04:59 tabledresser [Table] IamA 25 y/o Nigerian woman who refused arranged marriage and has been dating outside her race ever since, AMA

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Date: 2012-04-03
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Questions Answers
Does your family know? If so, what is their reaction? Depends on your background. They are not the same between tribes. For me, according to my background, marrying a Nigerian man would entail being a subservient wife who, even though would be well taken care financially, pretty much has no say in any family decisions. In my culture, wives are more like accessories rather than partners. 50/50 doesn't exist and I'm not a big fan of being controlled in that manner.
I'm Nigerian and my uncle and aunt are the only arranged marriage in my family. They're the most miserable couple I have ever seen. I'm sorry to hear that. . . I've seen good and bad in my family. Unfortunately, mostly bad.
How does your not following the rules affect your Benin status? To be honest my own parents refer to me as a "Canadian kid" if that helps because for them I'm not Nigerian culturally. I often find myself trying to prove that I'm Nigerian to other Nigerians because of the way I look and sound. Usually end those arguments by saying my full name.
I don't know anything about tribal culture, their rules and their connection to social identity so it's probably a pretty clumbsy question. I claim it but I know I'm not the best example of a typical Benin girl especially since I can't even speak the language except say "Oh My God" in Benin because my dad said that a lot.
How do you say "Oh My God"? I can't spell it but phonetically it sounds like "He'jah Mai'yOH" in Benin.
What about your standard USA Black Guy? I forgot. African-American are unacceptable. Something about the whole descendants of slaves thing. I mean I've dated a couple but I don't think I'm brave enough to bring one home unless I was sure I was going to marry him and we were moving halfway across the country.
Now this is fascinating. Unacceptable by you or your family? It is tragic that African-Americans are also discriminated against by Africans. Family. Tribe as a whole.
Some of my ancestors were slave-traders. There's a bit of bad blood there still.
I have nothing against African-Americans and can't stand it when my parents start in on them.
So your parents would rather you date and possibly marry a white man vs. a USA black man due to his family's history from many, many years ago? That's just "Wow" to me. Yes. Exactly. I know. I said they were pretty cool not perfect.
You dated African-Americans in Canada? Wouldn't they be African-Canadian? Or, you know, just "black"? I live close to an American border. I've dated African-Americans. I've never actually dated an African-Canadian.
A buddy of mine in college was a white dude from South Africa. He loved to tell people he was "African-American" just to screw with their silly PC notions. Also hung out with a black dude from the UK. He also got a kick out of silly terms like "African-American". It's also better I differentiate because while I've never dated an African-Canadian I have dated a Carribean-Canadian before. Sorry for the confusion.
Amazing. I live in an area (in the US) that is predominately African American but also has a good size immigrant population from Africa (Ethiopia, Sudan, around there mostly). There isn't much love lost between those groups, but I had never thought that Africans would look down on black Americans for their slave ancestry. Ah, tribalism. Doing more harm than good since forever. Beyond this rejection (which I gather belongs more to your parents than to you?), what's your experience of the black American/Canadian and black African relationship? To be honest I think this type of mentality is a rare. I don't often hear it from Africans but growing up I did used to get quite a bit of insults from African-Canadians for being a first generation African-Canadian.
Wow, that means I never have a shot with a Nigerian woman. But is it because you don't want to or your family doesn't. If its your choice it seems odd that you would choose that form of social elitism but reject your cultures own. But I have read that if you're not the one getting discriminated against it's sort of "to hell with all those other guys". Are even successful, well educated, responsible African American men off the table? False. We are not all the same with the same parents who have the same beliefs. In fact I like to hope that my parents beliefs are not the norm.
I've dated African-American men, I just have never brought one home because I'm really scared to I can't lie. I'm worried about how they would react not only to him but also to me (disowning me etc). I love my parents but they can be extremely close-minded.
Do you mean that you personally aren't interested in them or your family/culture wouldn't accept them? Family wouldn't accept them.
But... most Africans-Americans aren't descended from slaves. What about non-ex-slave african americans. I would think they would be okay according to my parents and I know that.
It's interesting that you avoid dating inside of your race because of "the possible headache". it's no less racist/out of order to avoid dating a certain kind of person because of what your family would think than it is for them to think irrational racist and culture based beliefs. The headache from my family joining with their family if we were to marry. Show me my ideal guy in character who happens to also be Benin and I would be hesitant to date him because of what our possible union would entail based on tradition according our parents. By dating outside of my ethnicity, I avoid this as my parents would likely write off any sort of rules on the grounds of it being a relationship where they can't apply since we are from different backgrounds.
Can we call them blacks yet? Yes. Yes you can.
Where are you currently living? I live in Canada. I was born here.
What tribe are you from? I am Benin. We ARE NOT the same as Yurobas.
Can you cook? Very well actually. My mother always said that "if you can't cook, you'd make a useless housewife". I learned early.
Is Nigerian hair really as tough as it has been described to be in rap music? This is hilarious. We come in all colours and sizes with all different types of hair. I'm curious to know where Lil' Wayne got his information from.
What is your attraction to European men based on? The non-Nigerian thing. I don't seek them out really. The town I live in is predominantly white so it's just what happens to be around.
My girlfriend is a 26 year old Indian woman who refused arranged marriage. Her parents don't know she's dating me, and I dread the day they realize what's going on. I especially dread the day I have to meet them. I'm happy you are such a strong person. How are gender relations in Ghana compared to Nigeria? I have no idea. From what I've been told Ghanians and Nigerians are not the best of friends. Something about a few Ghanians taking refuge in Nigeria decades ago. I never really heard much about Ghanians growing up except that some Nigerians didn't want them in the country.
GHANA MUST GO! Hahaha my parents told me about that. Happy to see another Nigerian redditor! YES! They had the bags of the same name. I was hoping my dad wasn't bullshitting me.
How exactly do the arranged marriages work and what are they based on? Class and tribe. You can only marry within your tribe and you can only marry within your class. Sometimes men marry women of lower classes but never the other way around. At least in my culture.
Parents of well-off, established men will try and find young wives for their sons. It's not a strict situation where you have to go through with it but it is strongly encouraged. I mean you don't want to disgrace your family by marrying too old or too poor so young women will go along with whoever their parents offer them too. Once married, the husband is responsible for making sure the wife well-taken care of financially. I emphasize the financial part because if you end up with an abusive husband you're pretty much stuck. A wife leaving her husband is frowned upon in any situation unless the husband is no longer able to take care of the family.
It is common in many cultures for women to marry up, but men never marry up. I've always thought beauty played a role here. It does. Men never marry up in my culture. Better looks definitely make you more desirable. Even skin tone sometimes plays a role which is really sad when you think about it.
I'm actually sensitive about my skin tone because of this. I've had my beauty based on my fairness in the past and it really pissed me off.
Can you describe the tribal and class system more? You mentioned above that you're Benin not Yoruban, so I gather there are some politics there? Do you find that Nigerians outside of Nigeria care less about those boundaries and ally themselves with any Nigerians due to country of origin and cultural similarities trumping differences? I guess the reason why Benins are so assertive about differentiating themself from Yorubas is that although they are related tribes many Benin people were noble once. This is the way my dad explained it. For us, maintaining this nobility was a big thing which why you were only to marry within your tribe. Since there are no longer monarchies in Nigeria and the closest thing to it would probably be the Chiefs it is still important for some families to maintain upper class standing by only allowing unions with other families of the same class. My dad's family is a long line of Chiefs up until my grandfather. My mother's family were also noblemen and women. For them, who they marry was always very important. If I was to go to Nigeria I would be able to marry just any one for that reason. It's so much of a headache to find a mate based on family history I would rather just avoid it altogether.
Where do you live and what do you do for money? I'm a medical engineering student. This might sound bad but I don't work because my parents have been very fortunate and provided well for me.
How do you ask a Nigerian to prove his/her identity? It's like a zen koan. Hmm don't know. I've had quite a few Nigerians tell me that I wasn't Nigerian because I apparently don't look Nigerian and have had trouble proving myself so. I can usually tell by the full name.
Why didn't you marry a prince? Seems like there are quite a few of them over here. Serious answer to a not-so-serious question: They technically don't exist anymore.
I gotta agree with this, where's the proof??? What kind of proof can I provide?
There sure is a lot of hate in this AMA, I'm really sorry to see that. Do you get this much static in real, every day life about your choices? Or are most people generally quiet about it? When you air out the dirty laundry of your culture you're bound to piss some people off. No, not really. I've only ever gotten hate from black men when I've been spotted with a white guy but I always brush it off.
Do you think it is weird when white guys go after black women? I just find most black women are much more to my liking than the typical white girls that i encounter everyday. I am attracted to the energy and free spirit i find in many black women and honestly the curves make me go crazy. What do you find attractive about men outside your own race? - White male. I can't say I haven't wondered why but I don't think it's weird.
It's not a skin tone thing for me so I can't really answer that. I tend to date "alpha male" types and they come in different colours.
Guys, this is the strangest IAmA ever. Proof? What kind of proof can I provide?
I don't really know, but you can try the link on the right. Link to What should I send them?
What's your favourite ice cream flavour? Half-Baked (chocolate chip cookie dough with brownie chunks in vanilla ice cream).
Do you date only White European men? Would you be willing to date an Englishman of South-Asian descent? How about an African-American? How about a Black African that is not Nigerian? Is it the Nigerian Culture that you don't like, or is it other things about black people in general? No, yes, yes, yes. There are some aspects of Benin culture I don't agree with but that's where it ends.
Have you ever dated Asian men? Nope. Never had the chance to.
What would your parents think if you were lesbian? Do you know any Nigerians who are gay/lesbian and had to hide it from their families, or got permission to married their partners? I have no idea. I don't even know how they would react nor could I even speculate. A part of me thinks they would lose but then I feel like they would just accept as it doesn't change the fact that I am their daughter. They are both very religious so I sometimes wonder how that would play a role.
I can't say I've ever met a gay person who I knew was Nigerian so I can't give some insight into this topic from experience. I hope someone in this thread can. I am now quite interested.
How often do you receive jokes/teasing about the whole "Nigerian scammers" thing, and how do you handle such ignoramuses? To the point that I just play along.
Thanks for the AMA. You should read Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali who moved to Holland after growing up in Somalia and Kenya. Very similar arranged marriage rules that seemed to be a mix of tradition and clan as well as Islam. My question is does religion play a role in your family and/or arranged marriages in general? There is no religious influence on marriage from my understanding. In fact the weddings in my family were not religious ceremonies but rather done by tribal chiefs with various pagan rituals.
Why do you define yourself Nigerian if you were born and grew up in Canada? How often do you visit the old country? My parents are huge Nationalists so it rubbed off on me. I've never been because I can't go without a chaperon for fear of kidnapping.
Do you ever think "what if I married him?" All the time. I often get the feeling that my parents are disappointed with me.
Hi i am a Chippewa whose family has everything as far as any given culture in it and when we walk threw the door at any family event, we look at each other as a family. So i am just wondering why you feel you have to explain yourself? OP. I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean?
Does your tribe follow these by inheritance or is there a religious influence to it? Inheritance.
Well, you'd have your own reasons for avoiding a bipolar woman. It doesn't sound as if she has any personal objections to people of slave ancestry. Thank you. I could care less what your ancestors did. I mean their mistakes or misfortunes are not your own and therefore you should not be punished for them.
As a Nigerian living in U.S ive been to plenty of Nigerian functions and not once have i heard of any arranged marriages, either this is fake or you must be trapped in the past. At your functions you met all 100+ million of us and asked us all?
This is only interesting if you actually lived in Nigeria, as every Nigerian I meet isn't dating any other African, mostly white girls. I understand where you're coming from but many Nigerian families carry on tradition as if they never left their home country.
This has to be one of the fakest AMA I've ever seen. The details she gives are so vague that its impossible to believe this is true. I don't give my hometown because I have redditor ex boyfriend who I don't want to see this. The same reason why I've been avoiding pics (plus you can't tell that I'm Nigerian from a picture only that I'm black).
Other than that what would you like to know specifically?
I don't want to know anything. I'm not Nigerian, nor do I know any. I just doubt your story. I've seen plenty of AMAs and you answers are too vague for me to believe them. As I said to someone else if you would like a specific response feel free to ask me to go into detail. Why would I have this of all things. If I was going to do a fake one I would pick something like being a one-armed whale trainer or something.
Last updated: 2012-04-07 22:07 UTC
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